How I stop myself from despairing too often(and you can too…)
Some would say misery is an inevitable aspect of the human condition and well, after what we saw last year, we would unanimously agree.
And if the unexpected outbreak of COVID -19 and sundry other natural calamities in 2020 wasn’t enough to sag one’s spirits, the political unrest in what we have long held to be one of the most robust democracies in the world continuing into 2021, has not given us much reason to heave a sigh of relief already. Oh! and the several new strains of COVID-19 proliferating is the last thing we needed.
All in all, it is hardly an inspiring start to the new decade. Despair seems to be the proper sentiment to be harbored by one and all, universally appropriate for our times.
That is only until the burden of it gets so heavy and unbearable that a minor setback such as breaking a glass tumbler or merely stepping on your child’s lego block is enough to set you off and send you down an uncontrollable downward spiral of hopelessness.
I have been through that several times over the last year. While it is not as though I have not had the occasional loss or setback before, simply the scale of things unfolding in a sinister fashion is just too much to not invoke doomsday.
However, life must go on until it does and for that to happen, one must find ways to cope as best as one can.
And the way I cope so that I may survive until it is time to thrive once again is through using a little bit of imagination and a little bit of a reality check until life seems a little forgiving and more worth living again. Perhaps, so could you.
Despair could sometimes just be an inability to employ our imagination to serve us. When we experience despair, sometimes we do not even have an immediate reason and we may simply be overworking a set of worst case scenarios in our minds.
Rationalize your fears — While it is natural to have fears that inculcate our survival instinct it is quite unproductive to let our fears snowball into irrational projections. While it is one thing to be careful about protecting against the Pandemic and the virus, I remind myself that I have taken all necessary measures and that I will be safe as long as I follow the correct sanitation measures.
Take one day at a time -When I begin to worry too much about what will happen by end of 2021, I remind myself to focus on the day at hand. I remind myself that I do not have to handle the whole year, or the next month or even week in one giant stride. I simply have to handle things today and I am capable of doing so. Taking one day at a time minimizes the size of the challenges that I may be dealing with.
Find a friend or confidante who is in the same boat — Well, not that the misery of others makes me happy, but yes, knowing how others find it hard to cope does make my own struggle seem to be real and validated. Especially since the outbreak my friends and family have been more open about sharing their troubles in managing finances in a hard hit economy, managing their children, their relationships at work and at home and more.This insight into the struggles of the lives of others makes me feel more comfortable with my own struggle and easier to embrace it.
Think of something you can still enjoy and take time to do it— Yeah, the pandemic has made traveling impossible. I am afraid to visit my friends long after the quarantine has ended because the pandemic has not. But there are a few simple pleasurable activities I can still even by myself enjoy like going around town with my camera to click pictures or taking a day off my exercise regimen and curling up in my favorite nook with some coffee and a favorite old book.
Focus on the things that went well — My mother had a hip fracture in 2020. Surgery was the only option and scary as it was, we were in and out of the hospital within 3 days with smooth treatment protocol and thankfully no corona infection to anyone involved. Yes, her recovery took due time and was harder with all the limitations involved, but looking back at it with the context of the outbreak and the health risks that it entailed for any major surgery, I think it ended well. So will other things, with some patience and a little bit of courage.
That is what gives me hope in the face of despair.
Hope this helps you too !
